More Than Words

It is particularly difficult to explain what it feels like to be surrounded by people who you don’t understand and who don’t understand you. There is a certain exhaustion that comes from listening to someone translate a church service, a meeting, or even a conversation. I like to call it split focus exhaustion; it involves focusing your eyes on one person’s expressions while focusing your ears on another person’s words. I’ve never experienced anything quite similar. It is a discomfort of its own category.

Simple things are no longer simple. Like going to the grocery store, the mall, or to a restaurant. I have to face miscommunication every day, when I am walking down the street, going through check-out, getting on the bus, or sitting in the park. Even my land Lord speaks zero English, so whenever I have a problem we have to play charades.

There is no where I can go to escape the language barrier, and there is no way over or around it. I have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. I have to get used to looking silly. I have to be accepting of the fact that, here, I am a foreigner, and once I show that I don’t understand someone, that becomes my identity. And when that happens, for a moment, I feel like a trespasser. I have to be okay with that.

I find myself not wanting to go to the market because I know that I won’t understand the cashier. I only buy things that I recognize because I can’t read the labels. I find myself nervous to walk into a store because I can’t read the signs. I have to go by the pictures on the outside to guess what is being sold on the inside. I misunderstand a lot.

Before I go somewhere with a group, I always remind myself of a few things: I will be left out of conversations, I will miss the joke, and I will be talked around. If I want to be a part of a discussion, it will have to be translated for me. If I want to contribute to the conversation, I will have to talk through the translator.

Communication can be frustrating, exhausting, complicated, and disheartening. I am learning this. But I am also learning that it is possible to build relationships without words. Could it be that words are not the most important thing? Could a smile or a laugh say more than words? Perhaps.

When a child looks up at me and smiles, I know exactly what to do. When I am laughing with a group of people, I don’t feel like a foreigner. There are some things that, no matter where you go, are universal. And those things never get tiring.

I didn’t want to sugar coat this situation, because it isn’t easy. But I also don’t want to claim that it is all bad. It is not all bad. Not even close. It is just different, and different isn’t bad, different is different. Life would get boring if everything stayed the same. Different requires change, and that is why I am here. I am ready to be changed, and I am ready to learn how to handle misunderstandings and miscommunication.

If anything, this experience has already given me a new appreciation for how simple communication is back home. I will never take it for granted again. You never realize how important communication is until you have to work for it.

Say "hello" to people you meet on the street, tell your loved one's how important they are to you, compliment a stranger, thank the cashier, wish someone a good day. Do it because you can, because it is so simple.